Some of you may or may not know (and yet others may belong to a third category of null which is neither knowing or not knowing) that I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It is a stress-coping mechanism which for me involves the manipulation of food, toy figurine head alignment (TFHA- pronounced Tfha!), and the constant wearing of shorts.

I was the subject star of a 1 hour long documentary on the Discovery Health Channel inappropriately entitled "Ultimate Body Challenge: Forrest's Story". Inappropriate because there was little, if any slimming down that happened on the show. I was chosen for the documentary because I was the pickiest eater the Discovery people had ever met. They sent me round the town to the best fat care money could buy in hopes they could scare me straight (straight in this case is not referring to a scary prison visit meant to ensure one would abstain from knocking over the local Zip-Mart). The Duke Executive Health Center, the Duke Diet and Fitness Center, none of the usual suspects could make a lasting dent in the fat that had become my earth body. The producers became concerned I wasn't losing any weight.

Eventually, I was sent to the head of the Duke Eating Disorder program, where I met with a 4'8" 90 lb. bulldog named Dr. Nancy Zucker. She had spent nearly 15 minutes with me and said casually, "You have OCD. Like OCD really bad." She said I wasn't a "Supertaster", as I had expected, having counted nearly 30 taste buds in a 1cm diameter area (nearly 4 times the normal density). She said I wasn't "Picky" as I had expected, being able to name several foods I could eat that most people would find disgusting: Sundrop, Velveeta Cheese (raw), Velveeta Cheese + Bologna sandwich, and boiled peanuts (hot or cold).

 She said that I needed therapy and possibly medicine to begin to learn to deal effectively with my OCD. Although I was able (in a moment of madness) to eat some Soshimi (the real raw stuff) while I was on Celexa, a medicine they prescribed me, I think the therapy actually did more good... more long term good at least.

Since the show has aired, I have met many fans people who have watched the show that have realized they have some similar traits in the way they eat. One person had a friend who would only eat cake and Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches. This too was attributed to being Picky, but what we now know to be an extreme form of OCD. 

So I have created a name for these people, these sufferers of a strange food malady often referred to as being picky. I heretofore will refer to these similar earth creatures as APE-heads, APE cleverly being an acronym for A(dult) P(icky) E(aters). Head is added for marketing purposes. So, APE-heads, welcome to a place where you can feel welcome to describe, dissect and deconstruct this strange malady. I hope my life will serve as an inspiration to you and your good health.