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Sundrop- Nectar of the Gods, Creator of Fat Aliens... I must Break You!

Though I have never smoked a cigarette in my life, I am currently chewing half a piece of 2 gram Nicorette chewing gum, feeling kind of cool.

Today is a special day in the life of this alien. I am making a concerted effort to rid my life of the fat-inducing nectar you humans call "Soft-drinks" and that I call "Sun-Drop" or "Breakfast" and my earth-father calls "Co-cola", heavy emphasis on the "Co".  I have spent the last day preparing for this epic battle, laying the groundwork for a month long siege to break this addiction.

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Formerly breakfast (Sundrop minus the water) 

I boiled the water out of an 8 ounce serving of Sundrop and nearly vomited trying to eat what remained. I have a bag of 56mg of sugar hanging on my desk now, a grim reminder of the amount of sugar in one 12oz can. I have been popping Motrin headache pills all day in an attempt to head off caffeine withdrawal symptoms. And for good measure, I'm chewing some Nicorette, figuring it couldn't hurt.

This afternoon I actually felt more hyper than if I had had a soft drink, as the blood-sugar crash that normally accompanied my afternoons was absent. But I noticed a positive change in my mood and overall energy level that I wouldn't have expected this early on. I will report back on this matter and let you know how it is progressing.

Posted on Monday, October 29, 2007 at 10:24PM by Registered CommenterForrest Maready in | CommentsPost a Comment
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